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Teen Sex Talk

Sex!

Since you visited our sex site, we're making the astounding guess that you're interested in sex. Of course, to have sexual thoughts and feelings
is natural and healthy.

So, we wanted to explain to you why you cannot visit our site - and suggest to you some sites about sex that you can.

Sex is a lot like fire. Fire can be a great thing. It brings light and warmth. Grills hot dogs and bakes pizza. Likewise, fire can be dangerous. One person can accidentally burn down a house or a forest. Cause destruction and even death. You just need to know what you're doing. That's why parents tell kids not to play with matches.

Sex can be a wonderful thing - particularly when it's accompanied by intimacy and caring. With knowledge, thought and the guidance a parent or other adult you trust, sex can be a great part of your life. On the other hand, sex can bring pain, disease and even death. Like fire, it's all in knowing what you're doing.

That's the reason it's against the law in most places for a person under the age of 18 to be exposed to sexual materials and internet sites. The law exists for your own protection. It's designed to prevent anyone from taking advantage of you - to give you the time to learn how to make your own sound decisions and grow strong enough to avoid being preyed upon by those who would do you harm.

Feel good about your sexual sensations and thoughts. Get smart about how to make sex a positive thing in your life. Most important, approach a parent, minister, rabbi or other adult you feel close to - tell them about your sexual thoughts and feelings and ask for their guidance. Every adult was once your age and went through the same things you are right now.

Remember, that any adult who attempts to expose you to sexual material or touch you inappropriately thinks nothing of you, your feelings, your health or your life. It's important to report any action like this to an adult you can trust.

WANT TO EXPLORE SEX?

Following are links to sites that allow you to explore your own sexuality and connect with other kids your age. You'll find these sites very interesting - good, safe places to prepare for the sexual part of your life.

Double click on the following links to visit the sites:

What is Sexuality?

Teen's Sexual Rights

Tips for Talking About Sexuality

What is Sexual Orientation?

Sexual Choices

Feeling Good Means Feeling Safe

How Do I know If I'm Ready For Sex?

Safer Sex

How Are HIV & STDs Spread?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE HOMOSEXUAL OR BISEXUAL?

(By Heather Corinna - copyright 1997, 2003 http://www.scarlateen.com)

Typically, a homosexual is defined as someone who is ONLY attracted to others of the same gender. A bisexual is defined as someone who can be attracted to those of either gender, though not necessarily both at the same time. In other words, like heterosexuals, homosexuals and bisexuals can be monogamous. A heterosexual is someone attracted ONLY to those of the opposite gender. Some people find these three spheres or orientations very limiting, because not everyone fits neatly into them, but instead, is attracted to different genders by varying degrees. For instance, a bisexual may be MOSTLY attracted to women, but sometimes attracted to men. A homosexual or heterosexual may occasionally be attracted to those of the opposite sphere. If that is the case for you, it does not mean you are not what you think you are. Homosexuality, heterosexuality and bisexuality are only terms to generalize sexual orientation in the widest sense. Ultimately, you should choose which ever term makes you comfortable, or even create your own if none of them seem to feel right

Do we choose our orientation?
Most sexuality researchers and scholars agree that orientation is fixed and unchangeable to some degree. While we choose what to call ourselves, and perhaps go through many different stages in our lives to really feel out who and what we are on many different levels, for the most part, our orientation is believed to be at least partially hard-coded into us from a very early age. The American Psychological Association states that, "sexual orientation emerges for most people in early adolescence without any prior sexual experience. And some people report trying very hard over many years to change their sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual with no success. For these reasons, psychologists do not consider sexual orientation for most people to be a conscious choice that can be voluntarily changed."

So, how do I know if I'm gay?
As touched on at the beginning, there are certain clues that you may be gay, lesbian or bisexual.

Are you attracted to members of the same sex often? In other words, have you felt attracted to members of the same sex in regards to a few different people?

Do members of the same sex enter into your sexual fantasy life on a regular basis?

Do you feel that on a few levels, you just don't fit in with others your age, outside of things like your clothes, social class or nationality?

Do you feel that typical gender or relationship roles (such as girls wearing skirts or being softspoken, or men being macho or gruff, just to name a couple) don't fit you well, or seem incongruous?

Do you often feel bored, or just not excited by going out with members of the opposite sex?

Have you ever suspected that you might be homosexual or bisexual?

Obviously, any one of these things is something that may happen to all of us, even if we're heterosexual, at least a few times. But if a few of them sound familiar, you feel that way often, and you're at the stage of your life where you are able to have a decent perspective on your sexuality and relationships from past experience, you may be gay or bisexual.

No one but you can assign an orientation or an identity to you. What you call yourself, how you identify, and when you identify (and this may not be solid -- for some of us, in our lives, identity shifts and is fluid to some degree) is all your choice. The important thing is that you do what you can to make your self comfortable and at peace with yourself, that you are honest with yourself and your friends, family and/or partners, and that you realize you have as much time as you want or need to find out who you are.

Your sexuality is with you through your whole lifetime: it isn't going to run away from you if you don't catch it. Check through sites like this one and other GBLT information. Go to a youth group for gay, lesbian or bisexual teens, or see if your school has a Gay-Straight Alliance. Talk to another trusted adult or peer who is homosexual or bisexual. Explore the possibilities, and go with what is comfortable for you. Ultimately, you're the person you have to live with and own up to every day: trying to make yourself into something you aren't, or fight who you feel you really are may seem like the easier thing to do in the short run, but in the long run it not only damages you, it damages everyone around you.

No matter who you are, or what stage of understanding who you are, you're at, be proud of yourself. If you're sincere, open, honest and loving, and act with integrity, no matter what your orientation is, you're someone to be proud of.

Is it unnatural?
It most certainly is not. Not only is it natural in people, it occurs commonly in other mammals and animals as well, such as chimpanzees, cows, ducks and other birds, cats, dogs, insects, gorillas, horses, sheep, monkeys, and a plethora of other creatures. It also is nothing new. Though through much of history many homosexuals and bisexuals have not been "out," most anthropologists and biologists agree that it has occurred in humans for just as long as heterosexuality.

Is it an illness or mental illness? Are homosexuals or bisexuals sick?
Absolutely not. Psychological and sexual research has shown clearly that orientation in and of itself is not a cause for emotional or social problems. More often, when such problems are associated with homosexuality or bisexuality they are rooted in the nonacceptance of those orientations, and taunting, scolding or punishment because of the perceptions of them. The APA adds that, "Homosexuality was thought to be a mental illness in the past because mental health professionals and society had biased information about homosexuality since most studies only involved lesbians and gay men in therapy. When researchers examined data about gay people who were not in therapy, the idea that homosexuality was a mental illness was found to be untrue."

Is it a sin?
First, bear in mind that the concept of sin does not run through all religious traditions, and that there are many, many other traditions outside Christianity and Catholicism. In fact, other traditions combined make up the majority of the world's religious and spiritual traditions: Catholicism is not by any means the overriding tradition around the world.

That said, the first thing to realize is that if you are basing the concept of what is right and what is wrong on the Bible, you need to bear in mind that it is a very old series of texts, in which some things that could be considered RIGHT and acceptable(and sanctioned by the old testament) then, would be considered very wrong today - such as:

...a child being killed if they cursed their parent
...a woman being stoned for not being a virgin on her wedding night
...incest
...slavery
...the domination, rape or abuse of women
...a person guilty of adultery (cheating) being killed
...child abuse

Likewise, many things that the Bible teaches to be wrong are considered by most people, today, to be ok:

...charging interest on a loan
...shaving or getting a hair cut
...sex during menstruation
...the cross-breeding of animals
...sex outside of marriage
...eating certain animals
...women wearing pants

The things listed above are all addressed in the Bible, just as premarital sex and homosexuality are, and are parts of biblical rules and laws, but are often overlooked or ignored by those insisting homosexuality or premarital sex is wrong, though they are all considered just as important Biblically.

According to http://www.religioustolerance.org, "In order to comprehend what the Bible says about gay and lesbian relationships, we must pass over the references to homosexual rape, male sexual abuse of boys, and homosexual prostitution, orgies, Pagan sexual rituals in temples, etc. We would be left with only those references relating to consensual sexual activities within homosexual partnerships. There may not be any of these.

"However, there are descriptions of close and intimate relationships between members of the same gender. But there are no unambiguous passages that show that they were sexually active. One is forced to conclude that the Bible often condemns heterosexual and homosexual exploitive, manipulative sex, and prostitution, but may be totally silent on consensual homosexual relationships."

In other words, homosexuality when addressed at all in the Bible, is mainly discussed in the context of sexual situuations where both parties were not consenting or willing to participate.

"One is left with many Biblical passages which condemn fornication -- sex outside of marriage. If one were to accept these passages as inspired by God, then one can conclude that the Bible considers homosexual sex within a committed relationship equivalent to premarital sex between a man and a woman. That is, homosexual activity within a committed relationship is morally equivalent to a man and woman living together common-law without being married."

They also add that, "The Bible says nothing about sexual orientation for the same reason why it does not mention television sets and airplanes. The concept of orientation dates only from the late 19th century and only began to be seriously investigated in the middle of the 20th century."


 

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