Since you visited our sex site, we're making the
astounding guess that you're interested in sex. Of
have sexual thoughts and feelings
is natural and healthy.
So, we wanted to explain to you why you cannot visit
our site - and suggest to you some sites about sex
that you can.
Sex is a lot like fire. Fire can be a great thing.
It brings light and warmth. Grills hot dogs and bakes
pizza. Likewise, fire can be dangerous. One person
can accidentally burn down a house or a forest. Cause
destruction and even death. You just need to know what
you're doing. That's why parents tell kids not to play
Sex can be a wonderful thing - particularly when it's
accompanied by intimacy and caring. With knowledge,
thought and the guidance a parent or other adult you
trust, sex can be a great part of your life. On the
other hand, sex can bring pain, disease and even death.
Like fire, it's all in knowing what you're doing.
That's the reason it's against the
law in most places for a person under the age of 18
to be exposed to sexual materials and internet sites.
The law exists for your own protection. It's designed
to prevent anyone from taking advantage of you - to
give you the time to learn how to make your own sound
decisions and grow strong enough to avoid being preyed
upon by those who would do you harm.
Feel good about your sexual sensations and thoughts.
Get smart about how to make sex a positive thing in
your life. Most important, approach a parent, minister,
rabbi or other adult you feel close to - tell them
about your sexual thoughts and feelings and ask for
their guidance. Every adult was once your age and went
through the same things you are right now.
Remember, that any adult who attempts to expose you
to sexual material or touch you inappropriately thinks
nothing of you, your feelings, your health or your
life. It's important to report any action like this
to an adult you can trust.
WANT TO EXPLORE SEX?
Following are links to sites that allow you to explore
your own sexuality and connect with other kids
your age. You'll find these sites very
interesting - good, safe places to prepare for
the sexual part of your life.
Double click on the following links to visit the sites:
What is Sexuality?
Teen's Sexual Rights
Tips for Talking About Sexuality
What is Sexual Orientation?
Feeling Good Means Feeling Safe
How Do I know If I'm Ready For Sex?
Are HIV & STDs Spread?
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE HOMOSEXUAL OR BISEXUAL?
Corinna - copyright 1997, 2003 http://www.scarlateen.com)
Typically, a homosexual is defined as someone who
is ONLY attracted to others of the same gender. A
is defined as someone who can be attracted to those
of either gender, though not necessarily both at
the same time. In other words, like heterosexuals,
and bisexuals can be monogamous. A heterosexual is
someone attracted ONLY to those of the opposite gender.
Some people find these three spheres or orientations
very limiting, because not everyone fits neatly into
them, but instead, is attracted to different genders
by varying degrees. For instance, a bisexual may
be MOSTLY attracted to women, but sometimes attracted
to men. A homosexual or heterosexual may occasionally
be attracted to those of the opposite sphere. If
is the case for you, it does not mean you are not
what you think you are. Homosexuality, heterosexuality
bisexuality are only terms to generalize sexual orientation
in the widest sense. Ultimately, you should choose
which ever term makes you comfortable, or even create
your own if none of them seem to feel right
Do we choose our orientation?
Most sexuality researchers and scholars agree that
orientation is fixed and unchangeable to some degree.
While we choose what to call ourselves, and perhaps
go through many different stages in our lives to
really feel out who and what we are on many different
levels, for the most part, our orientation is believed
to be at least partially hard-coded into us from
a very early age. The American Psychological Association
states that, "sexual orientation emerges for
most people in early adolescence without any prior
sexual experience. And some people report trying
very hard over many years to change their sexual
orientation from homosexual to heterosexual with
no success. For these reasons, psychologists do not
consider sexual orientation for most people to be
a conscious choice that can be voluntarily changed."
So, how do I know if I'm gay?
As touched on at the beginning, there are certain clues
that you may be gay, lesbian or bisexual.
Are you attracted to members of the same sex often?
In other words, have you felt attracted to members
of the same sex in regards to a few different people?
Do members of the same sex enter into your sexual fantasy
life on a regular basis?
Do you feel that on a few levels, you just don't fit
in with others your age, outside of things like your
clothes, social class or nationality?
Do you feel that typical gender or relationship roles
(such as girls wearing skirts or being softspoken,
or men being macho or gruff, just to name a couple)
don't fit you well, or seem incongruous?
Do you often feel bored, or just not excited by going
out with members of the opposite sex?
Have you ever suspected that you might be homosexual
Obviously, any one of these things is something that
may happen to all of us, even if we're heterosexual,
at least a few times. But if a few of them sound familiar,
you feel that way often, and you're at the stage of
your life where you are able to have a decent perspective
on your sexuality and relationships from past experience,
you may be gay or bisexual.
No one but you can assign an orientation or an identity
to you. What you call yourself, how you identify, and
when you identify (and this may not be solid -- for
some of us, in our lives, identity shifts and is fluid
to some degree) is all your choice. The important thing
is that you do what you can to make your self comfortable
and at peace with yourself, that you are honest with
yourself and your friends, family and/or partners,
and that you realize you have as much time as you want
or need to find out who you are.
Your sexuality is with you through your whole lifetime:
it isn't going to run away from you if you don't catch
it. Check through sites like this one and other GBLT
information. Go to a youth group for gay, lesbian or
bisexual teens, or see if your school has a Gay-Straight
Alliance. Talk to another trusted adult or peer who
is homosexual or bisexual. Explore the possibilities,
and go with what is comfortable for you. Ultimately,
you're the person you have to live with and own up
to every day: trying to make yourself into something
you aren't, or fight who you feel you really are may
seem like the easier thing to do in the short run,
but in the long run it not only damages you, it damages
everyone around you.
No matter who you are, or what stage of understanding
who you are, you're at, be proud of yourself. If you're
sincere, open, honest and loving, and act with integrity,
no matter what your orientation is, you're someone
to be proud of.
Is it unnatural?
It most certainly is not. Not only is it natural in
people, it occurs commonly in other mammals and animals
as well, such as chimpanzees, cows, ducks and other
birds, cats, dogs, insects, gorillas, horses, sheep,
monkeys, and a plethora of other creatures. It also
is nothing new. Though through much of history many
homosexuals and bisexuals have not been "out," most
anthropologists and biologists agree that it has
occurred in humans for just as long as heterosexuality.
Is it an illness or mental illness? Are homosexuals
or bisexuals sick?
Absolutely not. Psychological and sexual research has
shown clearly that orientation in and of itself is
not a cause for emotional or social problems. More
often, when such problems are associated with homosexuality
or bisexuality they are rooted in the nonacceptance
of those orientations, and taunting, scolding or punishment
because of the perceptions of them. The APA adds that, "Homosexuality
was thought to be a mental illness in the past because
mental health professionals and society had biased
information about homosexuality since most studies
only involved lesbians and gay men in therapy. When
researchers examined data about gay people who were
not in therapy, the idea that homosexuality was a mental
illness was found to be untrue."
Is it a sin?
First, bear in mind that the concept of sin does not
run through all religious traditions, and that there
are many, many other traditions outside Christianity
and Catholicism. In fact, other traditions combined
make up the majority of the world's religious and
spiritual traditions: Catholicism is not by any means
the overriding tradition around the world.
That said, the first thing to realize is that if you
are basing the concept of what is right and what is
wrong on the Bible, you need to bear in mind that it
is a very old series of texts, in which some things
that could be considered RIGHT and acceptable(and sanctioned
by the old testament) then, would be considered very
wrong today - such as:
...a child being killed if they cursed their parent
...a woman being stoned for not being a virgin on her
...the domination, rape or abuse of women
...a person guilty of adultery (cheating) being killed
Likewise, many things that the Bible teaches to be
wrong are considered by most people, today, to be ok:
...charging interest on a loan
...shaving or getting a hair cut
...sex during menstruation
...the cross-breeding of animals
...sex outside of marriage
...eating certain animals
...women wearing pants
The things listed above are all addressed in the Bible,
just as premarital sex and homosexuality are, and are
parts of biblical rules and laws, but are often overlooked
or ignored by those insisting homosexuality or premarital
sex is wrong, though they are all considered just as
According to http://www.religioustolerance.org, "In
order to comprehend what the Bible says about gay and
lesbian relationships, we must pass over the references
to homosexual rape, male sexual abuse of boys, and
homosexual prostitution, orgies, Pagan sexual rituals
in temples, etc. We would be left with only those references
relating to consensual sexual activities within homosexual
partnerships. There may not be any of these.
"However, there are descriptions of close and
intimate relationships between members of the same
gender. But there are no unambiguous passages that
show that they were sexually active. One is forced
to conclude that the Bible often condemns heterosexual
and homosexual exploitive, manipulative sex, and prostitution,
but may be totally silent on consensual homosexual
In other words, homosexuality when addressed at all
in the Bible, is mainly discussed in the context of
sexual situuations where both parties were not consenting
or willing to participate.
"One is left with many Biblical passages which
condemn fornication -- sex outside of marriage. If
one were to accept these passages as inspired by God,
then one can conclude that the Bible considers homosexual
sex within a committed relationship equivalent to premarital
sex between a man and a woman. That is, homosexual
activity within a committed relationship is morally
equivalent to a man and woman living together common-law
without being married."
They also add that, "The Bible says nothing about
sexual orientation for the same reason why it does
not mention television sets and airplanes. The concept
of orientation dates only from the late 19th century
and only began to be seriously investigated in the
middle of the 20th century."